Very wealthy people are often quite cheap, especially if they earned the money themselves.

[04:29]

"Unfortunately, sometimes very wealthy people are quite cheap, especially if they have earned the money themselves and they really know the value of the dollar and what it takes to make the dollar and how worried they are of losing that dollar"

[07:27]

"So, one of the families that I worked for early in my career, which is outside of of my family, but working for another family, his main mantra that he said regularly around the office was, "We do not ever buy paper clips. We are going to use staples and people will sometimes mail us paper clips."

[20:39]

"And once you involve yourself in a business relationship or personal relationship with these people that you trust, actually demonstrate to them that you have that trust. Don't micromanage them. Allow them to make decisions. Maybe even make mistakes."

Full transcript

Uh Dr. Cook is a second generation family office executive with over 30 years of experience finance operations private investing. She lays her family single family office Sunburst Ventures overseeing investments, accounting, strategic operations across Florida, Puerto Rico, and she's known for her cross- sector expertise and hands-on leadership. Um she's spoken at several of our events of the past and always does a great job.

Plan should be an awesome person to have here to interview today. So, thank you for coming. Always a pleasure. But also, and what did I leave out in your bio that you'd want to add for everyone here to get to know you a little bit better? Well, similar to Richard, I was an overachieving student and I graduated college when I was 18 and I was validictorian of my college class.

And so, I also believe in doing things on them on a fast track when it makes sense, not cutting corners, but cutting out pillow sets in order to get things done. So I think that's something that Richard and I have in common that I admire him for. And then as as far as some of my uh credentials, my background is as a CPA. I have a doctorate which is in accounting.

So don't you know choke on your your lunch later some other uh from me. But uh but it it has been very useful in in my financial career. Wow. Yeah. Definitely did not graduate at 18 and I was like a 3.0. I know a student that just went fast.

So I think you're very different on me honestly. But that's great. So you've been to a lot of more events, right? And you hear the stuff we talk about. You see what they spoke about on stage. You see what we started out with today.

What are three advanced negotiation and deal structuring strategies that you've never really heard anyone say at our events, but you think are really sharp and effective? Thank you. So one one thing about we'll start with negotiations. One thing with negotiations that I think is important and it ties into the the discussion of emotions that Richard brought up earlier before is you really have to be willing to walk away.

That doesn't mean that you don't care or or you care less than the other party necessarily, although that could be true, but you should have a vision in your mind of what you want out of that deal. And if you're at a juncture where you're not going to be able to get that because of the stance of the other party or terms that you can't come to agreement with, you you have to be willing to call it a day. By the same token, though, one of the other tips is is that you have to approach all negotiations very seriously. No one wants to uh be in a [clears throat] negotiation with someone who's a dramafilled and and who isn't really there to try to get to the finish line on the deal.

So be be be true to what you're trying to accomplish, but only only get to that negotiation table if it's something that is viable so that you're not wasting the time of others and and your own time to be cand. Then I think we can't say too much although it's probably not uh a brilliant new insight but I don't think we can say too much about being a good judge of people and studying human nature and behavior and whether it's in doing deals or negotiating deals or seeking deals or or any kind of partnership that you're involved in really just trying to always hone and develop more insights about people and what motivates and drives people and you can use that to your advantage but you can you can also pay it forward. Not everything is necessarily an immediate result for ago. Great.

Thank you. We had one billion buyers I chat with last year at our super summit. He said that every big problem uh is a people problem and every opportunity is a people opportunity right so I could agree with you for sure. I think in negotiation, you know, having the best alternative to a negotiated agreement, the uh idea is something that you were talking about basically being able to walk away.

What's the number one most powerful counterintuitive thing to focus on and trying to partner with a hundred million dollar net worth? Because everyone seems to say relationships, meet person, make your value clear, be unique. But in your mind, what really makes the difference, which is something that maybe most people ignore or overlook at the risk of being transactional or thinking that others are transactional in my experience. Unfortunately, sometimes very wealthy people are quite cheap, especially if they have earned the money themselves and they really know the value of the dollar and what it takes to make the dollar and how worried they are of losing that dollar and going back to the be even if they're confident they make that money again or they think they are, there's still always that fear, I don't want to ever be poor again or or wherever it is that I came from.

And they they they can be lavish in some respects and they can be very tight in other respects. So I would I would keep that in mind uh that this the stereotype that you see about the wealthy with the lavish spending isn't necessarily the case and particularly in a business deal they are looking for the value. So when you when you put forward you know your value and they're building relationships yes building relationships are important but why should they build a relationship with you? What are you bringing to the table as far as as the value.

Some people like to mentor others. They they enjoy that, but not everybody has that personality. So again, you have to use your behavioral skills to kind of read the room and know what kind of person you're dealing with. What are they going to be looking for from you in order to partner with you? And if it's not something that that you're prepared to provide or feel that you can provide, maybe this isn't a good business partner for you.

Even if someone with with the capital that you're looking to raise, there are other people with that capital might be a better fit for you, too. So, you can fire them or or not do business with Dev just like they could decide not to do business with you. Oh, great. Yeah. Well, that answered. I think that some people like it goes back to the start of the day, right?

Like a lot of the ultra wealthy are just super entrepreneurs and they didn't become wealthy. It would be wasteful the whole time. I was telling Balcony and Uber last night like I my favorite type of suit is an Armani suit which sounds super fancy but Nordstrom on Black Friday gave them like 40 50% off at like you know just too cheap to pay $1,700. I'd rather pay you $800, right?

And so it's just like you know it's kind of like comical sometimes. We have one family that came and spoke at our events a few times. They created the RV doctor vacuum and also the Crest spin brush. They have over a thousand commercialized patents. What they bought an old museum as their headquarters on top of a hill.

It was a historical building. They had to paint the inside dome. Somebody quoted them $70,000 to paint the dome. They're like, "We're not doing that." So they got like a tree trimming extension pull, broke off the end, duct taped on a paint roller, and they painted the Delta themselves for about $1,000. Right.

And so they said it took the founders a weekend and the founders had a famous story when they would use a ziploc bag someone throw it away. They got to splash that out. You can use that again. And like that sounds like pretty extreme and probably it's a waste of their time. It's just how their mind worked on like not being wasteful.

Like why would they pay 70k for something some college kid could be for a thousand bucks with a you know a tree trimming stick from Home Depot. You know it's just how their mind works. Another example of that. So, one of the families that I worked for early in my career, which is outside of of my family, but working for another family, his main mantra that he said regularly around the office was, "We do not ever buy paper clips.

We are going to use staples and people will sometimes mail us paper clips. So, we should have a growing population of paper clips always in our office. You should never have to buy them." So, that tip from a billionaire, [laughter] that was funny. He's like like a ziplock fans. So out of the the 0.1% of things that you have time to reply to that come into your inbox every week besides a referral or a trusted relationship, what really grabs you?

What jumps out? How do we all get through to people like yourself in this AI blasted world of non-stop cold pigeons in every channel? It's really tough. I I'm not going to say that it isn't. Some of it is just luck and and opportunistic timing because I am super busy. I don't believe that busyness is necessarily an indicator of success.

Some people are extremely busy and they're not accomplishing what they want to accomplish despite being busy. But with that said, uh if if you are busy and if you are committed to using your time wisely in being busy, then you don't have a lot of of extra time slashfiller time that you can spend on things that are not already play pre-planned. So you're counting on kind of that flex time that someone even if they're a planner has built into their day to be able to pivot and do something. And then you're competing with other emergencies or fires or something that's risen to the top that needs to be taken care of.

So, it's it's difficult. Now, how do you pierce through? Well, I I think some of it is multiple attempts, but not in a stalkerish way. But you have to realize that timing is everything. So, if today wasn't a good day, you can't take it personally. You can't assume that I saw it and thought it was garbage.

You can't assume that I didn't see it and that if you only got to me it would amaze me. You can't assume either of those things. But I think politely and professionally, try again after a reasonable interval. And maybe that day you you happen to be the top message on LinkedIn when I check my LinkedIn or the top email when I check my email, multiple email accounts that I have and so forth.

And some of it may just be opportunistic that way, but of course, always professional, not bitter that you weren't gotten back to before. Just just keep pressing on. Awesome. Yeah, it's great to share. We had one person that connected us to a shark from Shark Tank ended up coming to our events. He's going to be there next month actually and we're going to do a fireside chat with him.

And the person introduced me then followed up with me on like a Saturday, Sunday, and then Monday again twice. I had read his first email yet. He had already followed up like four times, you know. And then what it makes the investor think is like, well, I don't have time. That's how they work and I can't introduce this person to anyone or he's going to eat them alive, too.

They don't know like common sense being politely persistent, you know, as Dr. Good was saying. Also, to get Mark Cuban's interview done for billionaires.com, I had to email him 14 times, but that was over a year and a half and then he finally replied, answered my interview question. So, sometimes that's just what it takes. Uh talking about portfolio management now what unique way do you look at deals or portfolios or risk that would give investors here or dealmakers two or three takeaways when it comes to investment strategy thank you so there are a couple of different hats that I wear one for myself and my family and then also on behalf of some other families that I represent and so I I have to be mindful of what hat I'm wearing so certainly that that comes first but if I speak for myself personally I'm looking for areas of investment opportunity where I have a personal value at.

So do do I have a connection? Do I have personal industry knowledge? Do I have a close tie with someone else who has that industry knowledge or or that specialty knowledge? I am opportunistic and I am somewhat risk-taking. So, I'm I'm not necessarily a one niche only player. There's some people who do that.

They put their all their eggs in one basket and then watch that basket closely as as we've heard Carnegie say. So, so I I'm not one who necessarily follows that strategy personally, although I believe in that as a strategy that works as well. But I I do like to find things that I believe will be disruptive. Even if I'm not a SME in it, I become a SMEI in it where I align myself with a SMEI and my first pass will will be at areas where I already feel like I have a background where I can bring things to the table.

So that's that's an important element. And then I I agree with many many of the the quotes that were put up earlier about that kind of being cautious about what the herd is doing, but also watching what the herd is doing. And sometimes the herd's right and sometimes the herd isn't. And you have to use your judgment.

And again, it goes back to people and talking to as many people as possible about a particular potential investment or industry or trend and getting diverse viewpoints as to what people think is going to happen with this with with the you know what's going to happen with oily gas industry, what's going to happen with AI, what's going to happen whatever it is. Talk to as many people as possible and get their opinion and try not to have it be a group think. The only people like you are the ones that you're getting that opinion from. And then then make your own decision based on the information.

Even if it's contrary to what you've been hearing and it's more of a gut feel, but do the research first and then follow your Awesome. Great. We're going to speak later about how sometimes investors get the premise deals done once someone brings you a deal first because they know you have expertise there. You can help with distribution, a connection, opening a door and then they'll give you a better valuation because you can play offense and defense for them.

So we see that quite often in the club. So you know this event is called family office formula. So have you heard content for me or others of this event? Probably not a ton since we just got started, but um or at our other summits. Um and if you had to rattle off like three to five bullet points, strategies, insights, mental models that made you wealthy or have helped keep you wealthy that are highly effective and not often discussed.

What would those be? Maybe things that you haven't mentioned yet. Sick. I agree very strongly. Keeping your success top of mind. So whether it's those notes on the mirror or it's affirmations that you tell yourself or conversations that you have like I'll often have conversations with my sons for example who are in business with lean and obviously part of my family and part of my family office structure and they have outside jobs too that they're involved there and we'll have conversations first thing in the morning while either we're in the car or whatever it might be even if we're not in the same town that location and it's it helps set the tone for the day.

Um even even more so than speaking to co-workers or collaborators because if you have a if you have and are lucky enough to have a family business or a a closed business partner or friend who you consider to be basically your adopted family. Those those insights and those relationships and the way the way that person knows you and understands you and understands the way you think and vice versa creates a great synergy in coming up with ideas and thinking through things. Even if you're just reiterating and repeating what you're already doing, it reinforces it and then you you subtly develop it to the next level without even really planning it because you're just always advancing the conversation a little bit. Or some of it's what we that when I talked to myself this morning, some of it was what we talked about yesterday and we're like, "Oh yeah, yeah, just like yesterday."

But then sometimes there'll be a new kernel of something, a new idea, pivot, something in the news, one of us saw and it guides the conversation a little bit differently. So just just having that that regular uh sounding board and and kind of repeating that always with the success and the positives in line. I think very important. I agree that being positive is very important.

There's a lot of negativity out there in the world. I'm not saying that we shouldn't be realistic and understand that there could be down markets or that there could be draw downs or other problems, geopolitical issues. But the people who solve those ones who make money or the ones who are staying safer or staying healthier or other otherwise winning for lack of a better better term if you want to say winning in in a situation that that other people might be intimidated by. Be be able to be fearless.

Be willing be willing to be brave. Be willing to to stretch yourself. Be willing to to take a to take a measured risk even if you're not a risk taker. Find find a space where you can be a little a little bit of a risk taker and take that chance. Great. Thank you.

I think that part of the plan today is to share over 18 years like what we see family is doing to build a keep their wealth. And part of the benefit to me having to present this four times is I basically like these are almost notes to myself of like if I keep doing this and do a whole lot more of it than family office club is going to be massively more successful. And then I have no reason to hide a single strategy from you guys because you don't run a family office club direct competitor. So we try to make it as valuable as possible and as genuine and insightful as possible.

Uh any last million-dollar piece of advice you you'd like to share with the room you haven't already said that's really core to your success would be really powerful for people to hear and then any other signoff notes on how you want people to keep in touch with you want you want them to send you over time if they think you know oh this fintech deal that is exactly what Dr. Books that she was looking for or something like that would be helpful for them to hear as well probably. Certainly happy to share all those things. So firstly I'll reiterate the importance in my view of of studying people and becoming a behavioral expert if there is such a thing.

I do not claim to be one but part of my doctoral studies and my dissertation included personality typing and study of personalities and so I do like to consider myself a study of people and human behavior and and if you research anything else that's going on in the world whether it's the capital markets or something else it's all still driven by people and the way people behave and so whether it's at the negotiating table or hiring people or figuring out who the partner link or figuring ing out early when something bad isn't working. It's it's related to the people and group of people who are the quality team can get anything done. So it's just a matter of finding what the right project is at the right time with the right capital but those things are not as difficult as the right team that so the people are are super important. Other other things that that I'll share is if there if you're talking with someone, meeting with someone, negotiating with someone, or even if it's someone that you just met, if there's something that you can do to help them please them, there's something that you they want and it's in your power to grant it, do that.

And that person may not ever be useful quote unquote to you in a transactional way, but but pay it forward because people will view you as not only a generous person, a a an expert perhaps in certain areas as well, but uh you'll find that it does come back to you as well. And I see a lot of people who get very stubborn. They're control freaks. They don't want to give an inch.

They don't want to give up a negotiation pulling negotiation. If it's not important, make them happy and give them what they want. Not something that's critical to you, that's your deal breaker, but if it's something in your power to give somebody or it's in your power to help someone, I would say do it. And last but not least, I would say kind of related to that, don't be a control freak.

Again, that ties into people, too. You cannot be everywhere and you cannot do everything. And highly successful people realize that and they build trustworthy teams around them. Whether it's family members, whether it's key employees, it's business partners. And once you involve yourself in a business relationship or personal relationship with these people that you trust, actually demonstrate to them that you have that trust.

Don't micromanage them. Allow them to make decisions. Maybe even make mistakes. Everybody's going to make a right. But if you're too control and too hands-on, you're in your own way and you're in their way and you're not going to engender the kind of culture in your family office or your business that you want. As far as reaching me, there are a number of different ways to reach me.

What will I actually see is is a good question. But what I what I will share here is that if you that if you go to my LinkedIn profile, there is a web link and that's a web link for deal input for pitches. I do look at them eventually, but I I cannot promise that I'll look at it quickly. However, if I do have a a referral or personal connection with you or spent some time talking to you, I'm more likely to look at it faster.

And I will be candid if I don't think that it's a fit and if you'd like to connect with me on some other level for advice about an idea off know if it even even if it's not something I can personally do I know a lot of people and I'd like to be helpful in that way so feel like you can reach out for that as well and that would be more like a LinkedIn message right thank you round of applause DJ